This article introduces a mode of thought called dystopian optimism in response to the question of how critical marketing can be made more optimistic. Dystopian optimism counters both the utopian-optimistic belief that the climate crisis can be solved from within the current growth-capitalist system, and the dystopian pessimism of terminal marketing. We propose degrowth as a means to revitalise critical marketing and argue that theorising alternative marketing forms has performative potential. Additionally, we suggest that the transition to a post-growth society can be achieved incrementally rather than through radical upheaval and outline practical ways for critical marketing theory to contribute to this transition.