The downside of generosity: How rare giving fosters stronger social connection

Abstract

Giving serves not only to benefit others and society but also to foster social connections between givers and recipients. However, more giving is not necessarily merrier. This research finds that social connection depends not only on the act of giving but also on how many others receive the gesture from the same giver. Rare givers—those who give to fewer recipients—are perceived as more socially connected to each recipient than broad givers—those who give to many (the rare giving effect). This effect emerges across diverse contexts, including interpersonal gift exchanges in both new and existing relationships and corporate donations. As a result, rare givers enjoy a relational advantage: their gifts are valued more, and they are more likely to receive reciprocation (e.g., a gift in return or purchasing from the firm), even though they are perceived as less generous than broad givers. However, the negative effect of the number of recipients on perceived connection is attenuated when recipients are closely connected (e.g., donations to multiple charities supporting the same cause) or when gifts reinforce connections between recipients (e.g., friends sharing items in a matching set). These findings highlight an overlooked cost of broad generosity, with implications for managing interpersonal relationships and firms’ giving strategies.